Me and Skiing

I have written about it before: I love skiing. Unfortunately, the coming winter will be the third since I last breathed in fresh, clean alpine air and last glided on snow. To say I have itchy ski feet would be an understatement.

If at this point you choose to picture me on skis, you would be wrong to visualise me as some sort of ‘Mile Muncher’ who gets up at dawn to be the first one to hit the slopes, then goes down a black piste at 80 miles per hour (is that even possible?), eating a sandwich for lunch on a ski-lift and going home after dark, skis still attached. No, no, no, that is most definitely not me!

OK, I did almost miss the last lift once or twice, but that was because we had started skiing mid-afternoon, not because I was desperate to be the last one on the slopes. Twice, I really thought we would end up not getting the lift home. That was scary! The first time was with Cé in 2004. We were amongst the last people on the longest piste in l’Alpe d’Huez and we had a mere 35 minutes to get to the lift before it closed. “No problem,” I hear you say… True, aside from the fact it was the longest ski run in the Alps (19 kilometres). It was a scary descent. Cé was terrified (it was a black slope) and injured her knee.

L'Alpe d'Huez at Sunset

Piste Princess, moi?

Nope. I have no style when I am skiing. Do you need proof?

  • I did not own ski trousers or a jacket until I was 20, although I was going skiing once a year. Before that, I used to ski with jeans on (not great when you fall) and two or three big jumpers (Michelin Man, anyone?).
  • Everyone keeps telling me I lean backwards too much and my posture is awful when I ski. Skiing gives me a feeling of complete and utter freedom. I do it because I love it, not to show off an impeccable technique. I could not care less what people think!
  • I own my own skis. They were ex-rental skis I bought for £29 in 2005. They are not in a pretty state, but I am not remotely scared of damaging them, and once again, skiing is just a bit of fun, not an exercise in showing off for me.

Me Skiing with Jeans and Jumper on, with the worst Technique ever

All of the above does not mean I would not enjoy a stay in a 5* hotel, a catered chalet with or a spa retreat by the slopes! Ah, if money was no object, the things I would get up to…

I was never what you would call an ‘Après Animal’ either, partying all night long. After skiing, I love nothing more than a hot chocolate (I know, I am wild!) and a quick swim to relax my muscles. After that, I might go crazy and have a raclette or cheese fondue with a glass of white wine with friends. By 9 p.m., I will probably be asleep on the sofa, mouth wide open and dribbling on a cushion.

‘Gadget Guru’? Anyone who knows me will be aware that gadgets are not safe under my roof. I am the kind of person who leaves their shiny new iPhone in a taxi (thanks, Find My iPhone and Julie!), drops their phone down the toilet (happened twice), breaks their camera (had to buy a new lens a few months after dropping it) or mops vomit off their computer keyboards (the kids’, not mine!). I do like a gadget or two, but I cannot be trusted with them!

Just before they went to bed, I asked the kids whether they would fancy going skiing.

Beanie: “No, I don’t know how to do it.”

Crevette: “I looooove skiing. I’ll teach you!”

Beanie: “Oh wait, I know how to do it. I watched it on Peppa Pig!”

Me (in my head): “Oh, if you’ve seen Peppa Pig skiing, I’m sure you’ll be fine then!”

I think my little ones sum us up beautifully. We are a category of our own. We are ‘The Unstoppables’. If we were to go skiing, our days would go like this:

6 a.m. The children are all up, watching kids’ TV, with one of us (adults) keeping a sleepy eye on them (by that, read “falling asleep on the sofa next to the kids”).

8 a.m. After emerging from our deep slumber, Hubby and I are putting some breakfast together for all of us. Porridge, anyone?

10 a.m. After a quick shower, we are thinking of leaving the chalet. Due to unforeseen circumstances (tantrum, Hubby’s sunglasses missing, toddler running away with boots as I am trying to keep her still and strap them on, meltdown, code brown for baby, 5-year-old needing a wee: you get the gist), we are not out before 12 p.m., by which time everyone is hungry. Back in! Lunch for all!

1 p.m. We are finally out, woop woop! Short sledging session, snow angels and off we drop the kids to ski school.

2 p.m. Hubby is back at the chalet enjoying a bit of ‘me time’ and watching TV or reading, and I am skiing on my own, checking on the children between two slopes (OK, spying on them and taking hundreds of photos).

4 p.m. Hubby picks us all up from the bottom of the slopes. We are all cold, grumpy and hungry. We go home, moaning about all the equipment we have to carry and the ski shoes that are more like paint cans than boots.

5 p.m. We are all back at the chalet, slumped on the sofa and drinking hot chocolate, munching on any snacks we can get our hands on.

6 p.m. We have a quick swim, a snowball fight or short walk (with normal boots on this time round!).

7 p.m. Dinner: something with cheese, potatoes and cured meat.

8 p.m. Exhaustion got the best of the kids. They are all asleep. I have a bath, Hubby has a beer… and relax!

Ski Holidays Mel Style - Eating

This is my entry to become a Crystal #SkiExplorer.
Country Kids from Coombe Mill Family Farm Holidays CornwallLittle Hearts, Big Love

And then the fun began...

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Comments

  1. Love this – hilarious. I’ve never been skiing – I am very much a hot weather person! So I always imagined it as being super glam with fancy ski suits and matching designer sunglasses, the whole party at night thing and all the rest! Glad to hear the real side of skiing! x

    • Strangely enough, I can’t stand being cold! I love heat and feeling the sun on my skin, but a skiing holiday is generally not as cold as you would imagine. Of course it is snowy and cold outside but you wear so many layers you don’t tend to feel it, and when the sun is out, it is glorious!

  2. Absolutely brilliant as always, very best of luck lovely! Is that you in the pic?

    Also I drop phones down toilets and leave them in cabs, we are such a perfect match xx

    • It’s me in the photo, when I was 16 or 17 years old.
      Technology hates me. My camera has been refusing to take photos for the past couple of days, and I am at Eagle Brae, the place I wanted to take photos of the most this half term…

  3. Fun post! I’m keen on snowsports too and wish I could show my daughter around the slopes someday too. And funny that comment about Peppa Pig… well, maybe it is sort of educational 🙂 #countrykids

    • It seems to be… the other day, they were telling me about global warming! Peppa Pig does tackle a range of stuff!

  4. I love skiing too! Think it will be exhausting with children but I soooooo want to find out. Good Luck x

  5. Oh Mel, how did I miss this brilliant post! Although I’ve never been skiing (hubby has and my eldest daughter is due to go on a school trip next year) I can imagine our attempts at skiing as a family to go exactly like yours.

    The find a phone app is brilliant, just so pleased we got your phone back my lovely.

    Best of luck with your entry too. xx

    • Thanks sweetie. You know what? I couldn’t find my phone on our way to the Highlands and I used Find my iPhone again, to realise I’d left my phone at home! I am trying really hard to lose that phone!

  6. I’ve never been skiing & it would terrify me. That said, I love snow & could definitely do chalets, ice skating hot chocolate, cross country skiing – just no slopes! Sounds like you all have fun though. #ftmob

    • I think that’s the beauty of a holiday in the mountains. You don’t really have to go skiing. Once, I only went skiing for 3 or 4 hours out of the whole week I spent in the Alps, because I was too busy eating, throwing snowballs, walking and sledging!

  7. Good luck on your mission, sounds like skiing is a great hobby of yours and if Peppa Pig can do it then we all can right? Thanks for sharing on Country Kids.

    • Peppa seems to be able to do all sorts of things these days. Not sure we can all be as good as her, but trying never hurt anybody!

  8. Just noticed your last line there Mel – I was going to say you would be a prime candidate for ski holiday blogging representative!! I’m exactly the same as you with skiing though – not much of an expert but just absolutely love the freedom, the crisp Alpine air, the food and drink and the beautiful surroundings! I do miss skiing ever so much reading this! Thanks so much for linking up with #thetruthabout and good luck with Crystal!! Xx

  9. Oh my word, a ski explorer that sounds so exciting! I’ve never been skiing but would absolutely love to. I do however have itchy feet and am desperate to get travelling again. A winter sports holiday is high on my list when we finally manage to go abroad.x

    • I’ve also been getting itchy feet for the first time since having my second, and we’ve just come back from Inverness: it was amazing! A skiing hliday is high on my list (but oh so low on Hubby’s…).

  10. I’ve been skiing twice and I did love it even though it’s a bit scary. There’s nothing quite like being on a mountain with the sun beating down on you. Good luck on your application 🙂 #ftmob

    • I do like the scary element and the adrenaline, especially when you arrive on a green slope after struggling to come down a bumpy one!

  11. suzanne3childrenandit says:

    We started skiing as a family 3 years ago and absolutely LOVE it! We started when our youngest was 8 and it worked for us. The only regret is that I now have the fear that comes with being a parent, meaning that I’m a cautious skier. Can’t believe you skied in jeans!

    • I am also much more cautious now. I used to have (almost) no fear, but these days, I’m more like a granny than a cool skier, but you know what? Who cares!

  12. Wow making me.sleepy just reading that schedule. Love the idea that watching peppa pig you instantly aquire skills, haha!
    I know what you mean about spying, God what I would love to be a fly on the way. X

  13. Ha! That sounds like a dream! Can I come? I’ve never been skiing!

  14. I love that photo of you skiing Mel – you look like you are having so much fun. I’ve never been skiing, nor have I ever had any desire to go although the picture you have painted of it sounds quite appealing – even with the chaotic day you have described – ah the joys of trying to get out with small children! I love that Beanie has decided that she knows how to ski through watching Peppa Pig! Thanks for linking up to #ftmob 🙂

    • Funny what Peppa Pig teaches you, isn’t it?
      I know skiing isn’t for everyone, and I would probably not be remotely interested if my grandparents hadn’t forced me to learn as a toddler. I am really grateful they were so strict and pushed me to learn because it’s the only form of exercise I tolerate!

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