You might think that with three children already, a fourth baby on the way might be a less exciting experience, but it is not. Time goes much quicker and you have a lot less time to focus on yourself and how you are feeling with three energetic (that is an understatement!) children running around you, but it is not a bad thing…
I cannot actually believe we have reached the halfway mark already. The past twenty weeks have flown by, and I have just had my twenty-week scan on my own because hubby had to stay on the floor above at the hospital with Jumpy who was going through a baked egg challenge (somehow it sounds like a weird sport; it was actually allergy testing).
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of Pregnancy…
I thought I would start with the worst of the worst, just to make sure I finish on a good note, really!
– What could happen?
From the second you see that blue line after peeing on a stick, you worry. It is completely irrational, as worrying cannot make things happen or not happen, but you just worry, worry, and worry some more that there might be something wrong with that little grain of rice (or maybe poppy seed at that stage) that is growing inside you. You worry because you care, because you love that tiny thing already, and there is nothing stronger than the love we feel for our little ones, and we just worry. Perhaps that feeling in pregnancy is meant to prepare you for what is to come: you are going to end up looking after another human being; a brand new one that cannot actually do anything without you. You are going to be completely in charge, despite the fact you are not even sure you are doing a good job looking after yourself, let alone a new little baby… Worrying is something we do a lot of as parents and there is no doubt it is a lifetime sentence, but at the same time, I would rather be exposed to this mind-boggling feeling than not having the chance to go through the whole thing.
– Morning Sickness
You wonder why they call it “morning” sickness. For a few weeks (felt like months!), the only time of the day I did not feel sick was when I was asleep… I am such a wimp when it comes to being sick (by that, read “vomit constantly”). You would think that after the fiftieth time, you would be used to it, immune to the dread that overcomes you when the gagging starts, but no… My theory is that the sickness getting worse for each new pregnancy might be my body’s way of telling me: “Hey, Mel, this is going to be your fourth child. Stop, woman, stop!”
– Indescribable Tiredness
Oh my goodness… am I tired? Yes, incredibly so. I could fall asleep whilst driving (cold fan on maximum, believe me!), eating my dinner, straight after getting up… You just cannot describe that pregnancy tiredness at all. It is completely paralysing. Thinking back to my first pregnancy, all I remember is bliss. I was a happy, blooming, rosy-cheeked pregnant lady… I have lots of photos to prove my point, not so many of the subsequent pregnancies. For my first pregnancy, I really looked after myself, listened to my body more than I had ever had, treated myself to a nap straight after work, slowed everything down, went to bed early. I now have three children… It just does not compare and listening to my body is quite laughable these days. In the first term, I lost the will to do anything. I actually wanted to cancel Christmas…
I am not going to expand on that one, just add to the above mood swings (hormones!), work and the three little ones and you are in for a memorable first few months!
It is nice to know what to expect (well, sort of), to remind yourself of all the amazing moments to come whilst having a few weeks to try and sleep a bit (with kids getting sick one after another, trying is all I am doing right now…), get things ready, squeeze in a bit of room in the bedroom the little ones are all sharing (I am leaving that one for when the energy comes back…).
– I am going to be a mum!
I am trying to enjoy every minute of being pregnant now that the sickness has stopped, and I have to say I am looking forward to being a mum again. I am not saying it is easy, nor am I being smug, but despite the fact there are tough times involved with motherhood, I do not think I was complete until I had my little ones. I know it sounds soppy but it is true… These tiny human beings make you grow up so much, see the world in a different light, make you discover unconditional love. They even make you a better person, just because sometimes, in front of your children, you do not want to be yourself; you become the person you want your children to see. Of course, I am writing this as the little darlings are in bed, and had you asked me how I was coping a couple of hours ago when everyone was screaming at the same time (sorry neighbours), in a rage, craving my attention or filling nappies, I might not have been this relaxed and earth-mother-like.
– It is all real!
Feeling Wriggly’s little kicks is such a great reminder that it is all true; it is all happening (along with the growing bump and increasing appetite).
– Thinking about the “firsts”
No matter how many times you experience all this, the happy feeling is there every time. Just the thought that hubby and I have created this new little human being makes me feel all giddy inside and proud. Holding a baby for the first time has to be the most emotional-filled minute everyone has ever experienced, and no matter how tired you are after a long or eventful labour, seeing and holding your brand new little baby just gives you a massive rush of adrenaline, joy, pride, pure happiness.
Oh by the way, I almost forgot… we are having another baby girl. We will have to get the little dresses out of the loft.
Say hello to Wriggly!