Giving birth and the start of a new life; holding your new baby in your arms for the very first time and the rush of unconditional love that submerges you is not something you can put into words. It is a feeling I will be lucky enough to experience soon again. With just over two weeks of pregnancy left out of forty, time really has flown this time round!
I have been pondering whether or not to share my birth plan with the world. If is after all a rather personal piece of literature, isn’t it?
When I was a few weeks away from giving birth to Crevette six years ago, I had no idea what it would be like to give birth. I had no intention of finding out before the wheels were in motion to say the truth. I just thought I would deal with it when it happened as I was adamant knowing too much about the whole process would make me worry for no reason. I would have to get my baby out no matter what, and did not want to read or hear about other people’s gory details or horror stories, thank you very much. I made a point not to read the birth stories in the pregnancy magazines I was buying regularly.
Our NCT classes covered the stages of labour as well as breathing techniques and I felt really comfortable receiving that kind of ‘textbook’ information. It was very factual and rather interesting. When the upper class course leader started discussing very casually her daughter having perineal massage performed by her husband, I have to admit did not feel completely at ease. I cringed even more when a bunch of realistic dolls were passed around by a generously chested (to say the least) breastfeeding consultant. I gritted my teeth when we were instructed to pretend breastfeeding the dolls. Surely, they were pushing it a bit too far. What horrified me the most was when the aforementioned middle-aged classy lady turned on her old video player (yes, an actual VCR!) to show us a woman giving birth on her hands and knees in the 80s. We had been very clear we did not want to see that kind of thing… Do people ever listen?
To go back to the subject matter, I was not sure what to include in my birth plan the first time round and the video did not make things any clearer for me so I did a bit of research online and put together something that sounded like what I wanted. I made sure hubby had read it a few times and told him to refer to it when I was in labour.
A lot of people told me that birth plans often went out of the window as soon as labour started but I have to say I have been really lucky as when I gave birth to my three children, it all went pretty much according to plan. Just forget the fact that the first time I gave birth, all I wanted was to be in a hospital full of doctors ready to give me a C-section rather than in a stand-alone birthing unit with just a midwife and virtually no pain relief. I wanted someone to give me an epidural there and then and cut me open to get my baby out and end the pain!
Here is the birth plan I discussed with a midwife last week:
BIRTH PLAN for Mel
My name is Mel. Wriggly is my fourth baby and I will be accompanied by my husband. We hope that this birth plan will enable you to guide us through my labour and afterwards, yet we also understand that things can change, and will be happy to take your advice and be flexible should the well-being of our baby be compromised. We had Crevette in 2008 at xx Birth Centre and the only form of pain relief I found effective was water (birthing pool). I did not like using the Tens machine. I used gas & air and was given an injection of Meptid because I was really worried and a bit panicky. For Beanie in 2010, my labour was quick and easy and I did not use any pain relief other than water (birthing pool). For Jumpy in 2012, labour was longer and the only form of pain relief that helped was again water (birthing pool).
Birth partner – Hubby
Phone Numbers: Mobile: xxx / Work: xxx
Environment – xxx Birthing Centre
The presence of a student midwife is welcome.
Pain relief – water. Gas and air (Entonox) if I cannot go in the birthing pool straight away. Avoid Pethidine if possible.
Labour – We would like to have every procedure explained to us.
Hubby knows what kind of support I want. I will need to be reminded to eat to get energy if I get tired and mention giving up.
I would like to use the birthing pool. We would like our baby to be born in the pool. We would rather have our baby’s heartbeat monitored every fifteen minutes by a handheld monitor, rather than being connected to a machine that monitors our baby continually. I would rather not have to get out of the pool for monitoring.
I would prefer not to have an episiotomy.
I would like to lift our baby out of the water myself, and keep her with us at all times.
We would both like skin-to-skin contact as soon as possible after the birth.
Hubby is not sure whether he wants to cut the cord or not. Please check with him. We do not want the cord cut until it has stopped pulsing.
Delivery of the placenta: We would prefer a natural (physiological) third stage of labour, in water if possible. I would rather not be given the injection to make the placenta come quicker. I will start breastfeeding our baby to stimulate contractions.
I breastfed Crevette, Beanie & Jumpy and wish to breastfeed our new baby. Please help me with positioning if need be as I want to make sure she latches on properly.
None of our babies received the Vitamin K injection.
I would rather not have stitches. If stitches cannot be avoided, I would like an experienced midwife to be in charge.
If I have to transfer to the postnatal ward, please let my husband come with me. I do not want to be separated from him. We want to keep our baby with us at all times.
I would like a copy of the notes taken during labour please.
Thank you for all your help.
I have a second birth plan just in case we have to go to hospital rather than a birthing unit.
Here are the couple of extra details it includes:
Environment – xxx Hospital
I would rather not have a caesarean section, but I would consider it if you judged it necessary. If I need a C-section, I would like to hold my baby straight afterwards. Should I not be able to hold our baby I would like hubby to hold her immediately. I would like time alone with my husband and baby before I am transferred to the postnatal ward.
Cord Blood (NHS) – We are happy to donate our cord blood.
Here are some additional suggestions from readers you might want to include in your own birth plan:
- My baby can receive the Vitamin K injection.
- I do not want my baby to be given the Vitamin K injection.
- I would rather not have any pain relief.
- State pain relief you would be happy to receive in hospital.
- I give consent for medical students to help during delivery.
- Do not tell me it is a good thing if it hurts!
Sara, who blogs at Mum Turned Mom, also pointed out that it is important to accept the fact that the delivery will be what it needs to be and not to be disappointed if it is not what you imagined.
Is there anything else you think I should have included? Let me know in the comments section.
Two weeks left!! Good luck. Aside from the water, your plan mirrors mine. I would add ‘don’t tell
Me it is good if it hurts’ – I have never been so close to physical violence as when a well meaning mid wife said that!
True, why do they say that? They always do, every single time! I have added it to the list.
Hi Mel, I wish you all the very best in the next couple of weeks. I’ll be thinking of you and your new baby. Best wishes Julie xx
Thanks Julie. My babies tend to be late, so it will probably be later than that. We shall see! The thought of holding my new baby fills me with happiness! x
Consent for vitamin k injection ..
And maybe state pain relief for hospital that you would be happy to permit to .
Also whether you give consent for medical students as they need to start somewhere although they will be supervised all the best to you and little one xxx
Great suggestions, Sarah. I would definitely be happy for a medical student to be there helping. None of our children had the injection because their deliveries were not traumatic in any way. I have added your three points to my post, thanks for contributing!
I had EJ in the water and it was so much better than being all wired up on my back like I was when I had JJ. I also had the natural third stage placenta delivery but not in water. You seem like you have everything covered there! My mum advised to ask specifically to be stitched up afterwards by an experienced midwife and not a student as she was stitched by a student and suffered terrible pain – she said the pain of the stitching was worse than the actual childbirth!! Good luck with it all and I hope it all goes to plan again. X
I will add your comment about the stitches. I have heard so many horror stories about stitches hurting more than delivery than I refused them the two times I was advised to have them. Healing naturally was not painful at all! In the case when you really cannot avoid them, I would also go with an experienced midwife! x
I second this! My friend was sewn up by a student and had to be undone and resewn by someone more experienced!
oh… my… goodness! I chickened out of being sewn back in the first place… the thought of having the whole thing done twice sounds quite simply horrific!
Eek not long to go now lovely! Very exciting! This is really interesting reading and very useful! Monkey was breech so we had an elective c. Because of the shape of my uterus there’s a very high chance we will have a second breech baby and c section. I hope not as I would prefer a natural birth! I’d love a water birth but have been told i wont be able to have one as they need to monitor me due to the previous c section which a shame. Very useful reading the plan of someone with experience and confidence in what you want from the bath . Great post! Xx #wotw
Thanks Caroline. Whatever is best for the baby is what is best for the birth, isn’t it? I really doubt I would attempt having a breech baby in a birthing pool (let’s not push it!). x
I’ve had two sections. The first emergency, the second planned. Effy was very stuff, it was difficult and complicated and I was very poorly so I didn’t see her much in her first hour. Lowen was crying as they pulled her out so they were willing to let me have her straight away, but from what I gather, that’s quite rare! Your plan sounds very comprehensive… When is D day? Good luck! X
Oh poor baba (and you)… I would definitely go for a C-section if my baby was stuck, too, no doubt about that! She is due on 10 June. x
Effy was stuck. Not stuff. Doh!
Wow honey not long now at all! Sounds like you’ve covered absolutely everything here. Surelygiving birth to a fourth babe will feel like being licked by kittens? Not painful at all xxx
You are making me laugh! I found giving birth to Jumpy (my 3rd) more stressful than Beanie (2nd) but we will find out soon I guess! Nothing in the giving birth process reminds me of being licked by kittens. You must have been on something stronger than me if that is what delivery reminds you of, hi hi! x
Wow! SOOOO EXCITED for you <3
Fantastic that you've found a birth pool works well for you 🙂
Thanks Steph! The birth pool helps so much in fact that it sort of stopped my labour the first time round as I went in too early I think. It is rather nice when the pain diminishes… x
OMG no? TWO weeks left? That has gone SO fast!! My youngest are now 8 and it all seems so very long ago. (Although at other times not so!!) I hope you have some of your fudge ready to enjoy afterwards!
I know, time flies… My eldest is almost 6 and it sometimes feels like he was born yesterday. We really have to enjoy the little things and time spent all together as a family. No fudge left but I always have huge bags of snacks ready for breastfeeding!
Good luck for the next few weeks! We are just about to start the whole scary exciting process so I think I’ll be eating up posts like these in the near future!
Thanks. Exciting times for you to start thinking about babies! x
Ha ha – that last line – so true! I bet you can’t believe you’re writing your birth plan – I am very excited to think we’ll soon be seeing the actual birth story 🙂 Great tips here, too. Boo was a water birth, and then Little Man a planned C Section, so two very different experiences! Thanks for joining in with #WotW
True Jocelyn, I cannot believe it is almost time to have her… the past eight months or so have really flown by. You did have two very different experiences indeed. I would like to hear more about it all (maybe after the birth though… getting squeamish!). x
I won’t let them cut the cord until it’s stopped pulsing, I won’t allow them to give Vitamin K, I won’t allow them to give me the injection to make the placenta come out quicker, I won’t have pain relief but I’ve never had a birth plan, I just let them know my wishes as the time comes.
Good luck with everything, I can’t wait to see your new baby x
Great suggestions, Alex. We are the same with the cord, the Vitamin K and the placenta. I will add them to the list. I like having a birth plan even though I would not start reading it just for the sake of it. It just reassures me that it is all written down and they can refer to it just in case I am in so much pain I do not fancy a chat (I tend to lock myself in the toilets asking them to leave me alone with the pain). x
Wow, two weeks, how exciting 🙂 I never really wrote a birth plan, after the first one went out the window with an epidural, cannula and emergency section, all of which I’d said I wanted to avoid! After that ‘elective’ covers a lot; and I dealt with the other thing as I went along 🙂 The only piece of advice I ever really give is that it will be what it needs to be and to accept that and not be disappointed if it isn’t what you imagined x #WotW
That is a very wise piece of advice, Sara. What matters the most is baby’s wellbeing and at the end of the day, a birth plan is just what it is: a plan, a general idea of what you would like should everything happen as planned. I will make sure I add your advice to the post. x
Great post! I hope all goes well x
Thanks Kim! x
Everything is so detailed! I wish I had this before. I was induced cuz my water broke early. BEfore I can do my brith plan I gave birth. But this is a nice article here =) #WOTW
I gave birth late to my three munchkins so I guess I had quite a bit of time to think about the birth plan. How early did you give birth to your little man?
So exciting that you only have two weeks left! 😀 This is a brilliant birthing plan and is great advice for first time mums, especially the way you express your preferences without seeming inflexible or unreasonable. I wanted a water birth with my eldest but the second I went into labour I had absolutely no interest in moving off the bed so to say you’d prefer a particular course of action but accept if it isn’t possible is great way to go. Awesome post
😀
Thanks Lou! x
Wow – I love your birth plan! It is assured, but flexible, and really takes into account everything. You are an expert! Best of luck with it all, I really hope you have another lovely water birth! 🙂
#Wotw
Bumps & Grind x
Thanks Kat, we will find out soon I guess! x
Really interesting post. When I was due with Mademoiselle I too wanted to be very ‘practical’ and ‘pragmatic’ about it – I didn’t want to think about the emotional aspects of giving birth just that I had a job to do, which was to deliver baby. My birth plan was simplistic – que sera, sera. I think I was in denial about having a baby!! Of course when labour kicked it so did the emotional aspect of it. What got me through, and something I put on my birthing plan second time round, was having the same midwife throughout to help with continuity and someone who I could buy in to. Also, I wanted hubby to be with me at all times and stated on my birth plan that I wanted him to feel included at all times – like you, I didn’t want to be separated from either him or my babies; it’s a shame we have to state that on our birthing plans and it’s not just taken as a given! The birth of a new baby is the most exciting thing every, bringing a new life into a ready-made family who is going to love him/her is just a wonderful feeling. Best of luck and I can’t wait to hear about Wriggly xx
I really agree with you. The three times I gave birth, we were lucky enough to have really dedicated midwives who stayed the whole way through, even after their shift had finished. I think it would be really odd if the midwife left as you are about to push, to be replaced by another one! x
Exciting times, I hope all goes just as you hope on your plan.
Thanks Fiona. I guess I will be finding out soon(ish). x
wow Mel what a really decisive and beautiful birthing plan (plan A) its such a scary time or it can be if your not mentally ready for it.
Thanks for linking up with #MagicMoments
P.s I am sure you will have an amazing birth and cant wait to hear the news your both doing well x
No matter how prepared you are, there is always that ‘scary’ element at the back of your mind… We shall see… x
i am crossing everything for you that there is nothing like that for you my lovely x
Thanks hun x
what great advice and so exciting to be preparing for number 4. Will be thinking of you but it sounds like you’ve got it covered 🙂
Thanks Emma. Fingers crossed for it to go according to plan! x
Baby’s birth was almost exactly opposite to my birth plan. Good luck x
This is brilliant. This is my 4th baby too and the only one I feel I need to write a birth plan for. I have to wait until my 20 week scan for the official go ahead but I’m hoping that I can have a VBA3C, in which case I have specific requests that I feel need to go into writing. Thanks so much for sharing!
x x
I had to look up ‘VBA3C’. Let’s hope you can go through with it. When is your 20 week scan? x
Hi Mel, hope you’re feeling well, lots of good luck and good wishes for the coming weeks. Look forward to your fantastic news xx
Thanks for your little message, Sarah. I am feeling well and I have to say I am very excited about being a mum again in the next few weeks! x
When I saw this post I thought I’d missed the birth announcement, then I stopped looking at the gorgeous pics and read the title that it was your birth plan not your birth story. Your pregnancy seems to have flown by! Good luck and I hope you’re finding time to put your feet up in this last few days. xx
Ha ha, the photos are of my first three! How nice (and weird) would it be to wake up with a new baby in my arms without having to go through childbirth. Still working hard but looking forward to time off with baby! I will certainly be putting my feet up when she arrives. x
thanks for sharing, i would like to ask if you dont mind why you opted not to have Vitamin K? im in 2 minds about it but think better safe than sorry..
Hi Victoria, We were not too keen to give a brand new baby an injection. Hubby read a lot about it and in cases where the birth is not traumatic for the baby it is not essential (midwife agreed). Baby starts getting Vitamin K from breast milk soon enough. It is all down to personal choice in the end. I think if it was just me, I would go for anything they offer, but hubby researches a lot into these kinds of things. x
How interesting! I definitely didnt know about Vit K and breast milk, need to do my research then
Please do not take my word for it. I trust hubby, but you are probably better off with NHS info!
Beautiful post and pictures and Sara and you are right. I had a traumatic emergency section with my first due to a pregnancy liver condition (OC) and it took time to heal from it all, physically and emotionally. My second birth, an elective was a joy-I even blogged about it ‘Having a Happy C-Section’-birth can be scary or magical and often out of our control, I think being as prepared as possible, covering all bases and going in feeling ready to do what’s best for you and baby is most important. Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts
Always a pleasure to link up with you. I love the fact you blogged about your happy C-section, I bet it helped a lot of people! x