Why do we all need Me Time from time to time?
As mums, we simply never stop, and I have to say that most days, I feel like I am running like a headless chicken, constantly trying to satisfy demand after demand. The best piece I was ever given was to look after myself first so I am better equipped to look after my four little humans. Initially, I was skeptical and thought it was odd my father-in-law was encouraging me to be selfish.
Then ‘life’ happened and I observed the difference looking after myself made. If I was eating something quickly first when ravenous before cooking for my four, I would be a lot more patient. If I was grabbing a coffee for myself for a long drive, I would be a lot chirpier and focused for my drive. A weekend away from the family would make me realise how special and precious my life with four children was, and how much I craved their presence, their cuddles and their warmth. Even their bickering didn’t seem so bad. Looking after myself might be the secret to happiness…
Now let me introduce my friend Sophie and her wonderful Life Reboot Camp, which I cannot wait to start today. Not long ago, Sophie completely reevaluated her life and went from working in London as a childminder to create the life of her dreams in Mauritius with her family.
Over to you, Sophie!
Do you remember when you could spend a whole afternoon curled up with a good book? Or have a day out with friends shopping, having lunch, laughing, without a care in the world?
When was the last time you did either of those? Or whatever else gives you butterflies in the tummy with happiness?
For most of us mums it will be a while ago. Because you know, life, kids, chores, and that never-ending to do list.
Most mums I chat to, when presented with some quiet time, find themselves tidying up their kids’ rooms, meal planning or sorting the craft corner.
We feel almost guilty if we actually do something pleasurable for ourselves. Because there is always something on that to do list. So we ‘shouldn’t’ have a Netflix binge afternoon when there are so many tasks calling out to us. It feels ‘wrong.’
Yet, it’s actually so “right” and, in fact, so vital.
With the rise of flexible working, there are more and more demands on our time as mums. When we were kids our mums were either working mums who switched off at 5 p.m. or stay-at-home mums who didn’t have the pressure of social media to aspire to a ‘perfect’ life.
For mums today, whether they be at home with their children, working from home or working away mums, there are constantly things to be done. I know because in the 11 years I’ve been parenting I’ve worn all these hats at different times.
Stay-at-home mums are expected to be so much more than just mums. Pinterest shows us all the crafting we should be doing with our kids. Mum competition has us attempting to raise 4-year-olds as confident readers, Mandarin-speaking, violin-playing geniuses.
Working-at-home mums have to play a constant juggling game, and usually end up losing. Whilst watching your son’s assembly you’re thinking about a deadline, and whilst working to that deadline you’re worrying about your kids who are with their iPad nanny.
As for working mums you can be certain that your boss and colleagues think you’re not pulling your weight, whereas your family is convinced you spend all your time either at work, thinking about work or bringing work home.
So I want to talk to you about the absolute importance of redressing the balance here.
At the end of 2006 I became a new mum (and my husband a new dad). By mid-2007 we were flailing. We were trying to be “good” parents but didn’t realise that to do this you need to be good to yourself first.
Our daughter was about 6 months old when my husband said he wanted a break. Not one of those breaks. But a break from our daughter for the day. I took it personally. He regretted having her. Until he explained it to me.
He worked hard Monday to Friday then on Saturday and Sunday he felt he had to “parent” all day. And he was tired. He wanted time to read. To sit and watch a box set. To play the guitar. To do his pre-parent activities.
So he took a day off, and he encouraged me to do the same the weekend after.
Our daughter was 7 months old when I had my first “Me Day” as a mum. I was still breastfeeding so didn’t go far, but knowing I wasn’t the one responsible for a whole day was incredible. I was a bit brain dead at that stage of new parenting, and didn’t know what to do with my time, so binge watched Greys’ Anatomy. It was heaven.
Since then my husband and I make sure we each get a “Me Day” once a month, and I can safely say it has saved our relationship and our sanity, as well as making us far better parents.
Whether you are solo parenting most of the time, single parenting all of the time, mum to one or to ten, you need that time off. You need space for YOU. It’s not just a question of wanting a break, you NEED it.
You can be the best mum in the world, and love your kids more than anyone else, but you need time away from your little ones, and time off from being a mum.
There is a very good reason why on aeroplanes they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first. As someone who has been to burnout and back, I can tell you that you are zero use to your kids or family in general once you are broken. So make sure you take care of all the moving parts – i.e. YOU – before things start to break.
Learning to find balance in our lives as mums is one of the many things I teach in my Life Reboot Camp, with concrete examples of how you can do it.
This online programme is for women (especially mums) who feel unfulfilled in their lives, a lack of contentment, jealousy when they scroll through social media and see other people’s photos and lives.
You are frustrated with where you’re at in life, you may be bitter and feel like life is so much better and easier for everyone else. You may also be looking for balance in your life, feeling a bit mid-life crisis or be at a crossroads.
Click here to find out more and to sign up.
What we will cover in the Life Reboot Camp:
• Module 1: YOU
• Module 2: Woo-Woo
• Module 3: Relationships and Friendships
• Module 4: Parenting
• Module 5: Work & Career
• Module 6: Decision-making and Facing Fears
• + 6 Bonuses from a variety of experts
Say yes to yourself today and make 2018 your year!
A little bit more about Sophie…
Sophie Le Brozec is a lifestyle entrepreneur and personal development mentor, who is passionate about helping women to love the life they live. Sophie is a Brit, married to a Frenchman and mum of 2, living in Mauritius after 12 years in France and 5 years in London. She’s not averse to taking risks and making big, scary decisions, and loves helping others make that leap too.
Disclosure: Sophie is my friend and when I offered to have her guest post on my blog about her new venture, she offered me a membership to her Life Reboot Camp (she’s a keeper of a friend, let me tell you!) and I can’t wait to start it all with you guys!